The Awkward Things We Say in Gchat

First off, I want to apologize for going MIA on this blog for August. Between WILDEFIRE's release, book signings, travel, revising a new book, and now working with my editor on Wildefire's sequel, EMBERS & ECHOES, life has been a little cray-cray, as they say. One of the things that gets me through the insanity, however, is being able to have conversations with my friends over gchat--so I thought it would make for an appropriate blog post to provide a sample of the strange conversations I find myself in on a daily basis. Enjoy.

On a well-balanced breakfast
me: I just ate cold chicken mcnuggets for breakfast
me: I am such a catch
Bernard: ew
Bernard: like really ew

On lingo
me: What is the difference between smexy and sexy
me: I've never understood

On the secret to productivity
me: You should use my approach
me: Where I stare at it
me: Have a glass of wine
me: and work on nothing
Shannon: that's pretty much what I've been doing

On fashion
me: I don't think I'm masculine enough to be invited to do such a feature
Scott: keep wearing Hawaiian shirts like that, and you will be someday
me: really the most heinous shirt ever
me: the pics don't even do its heinousness justice

On weapon storage
me: Can I hide my nunchucks at your place?
Jessica: no thats where i keep mine

On pest control
me: Why is there a mosquito bite on your bum?
me: Have you guys turned your porch into a nudist colony?

On physics
Scott: If I punch my computer in the face, and I'm the only one home....does it make a sound?
me: Depends on the velocity of the punch and the gravitational pull of the moon

On being creepy
me: I already stare at you all day through your work window
Ashley: im on the 22nd floor
me: suction cups
Ashley: spider man style

On college professors
me: He also looked exactly like the guy from Jurassic Park

On how soft the Wildefire book jacket is
Scott: I remember that time I was hopped up on pain meds and touched your book cover
Scott: and got Really Freaked Out
Scott: that was fun
me: It's like if velvet had sex with paper

On review copy requests
me: May you send me a copy of your fiction novel, Moldyflower?

On the Smashing Pumpkins
Scott: the world is a vampire
me: sent to dra-i-a-i-ainnn

On physical fitness
me: alright, I'm off to get Captain America jacked
Bernard: godspeed

On a good second date
me: Mmm nothing like a homecooked poisoned dinner

On witch gun control
me: I subtracted 3 stars because witches don't busta cap
Scott: i really have a problem with ocular violence

On lingo, part two
me: Example: "After that second scorpion bowl, I was getting creepy”

On Mean Girls
me: it's been a few weeks now
me: I think it's time to settle your differences with Trang Pak
Scott: i just don't think i'm ready

On Friday nights
me: And then there were 8 of us screaming karaoke into the mic
me: The highlight was definitely "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed

On Saturday nights
me: Was at this house party til almost 4
me: Ended up getting in a spoon fight
me: Like hardcore fencing with metal spoons

On analogies
Scott: it's going to be one of those huge revisions where the book becomes something different by the end
me: Like a caterpillar?

On signing books in bookstores
Me: they immediately stopped talking and stared at me like I had just pooped in their hands

On when not to shave
me: I'm glad I'm the benchmark for successful scruff

On when to shave
me: there's a very sudden shift between "chic" and "hobo"
me: I don't know when it happens

On awkwardness
Scott: you have out-awkarded yourself in this interview
Scott: good job
me: Thank you
me: It was a steep mountain to climb
me: but I think I've finally planted a flag at the summit of Mount Awkward

On masculinity
me: Off to the gym
me: so that I can watch Millionare Matchmaker on the stairmaster
me: while I pretend I'm watching ESPN

Blog Tour Video Roundup

One time, I scratched my face during my sleep. It was a full moon.


10 Things That May Surprise You About WILDEFIRE


The Knight Bachelor Pad

Closing Ceremonies

You're all winners! ...At life. But unfortunately, as far as the WILDEFIRE Olympics are concerned, there could only be 4 winners out of the 100+ entries that I randomly drew from.

The winners of the 2 16x20 WILDEFIRE canvases are: Lucia and Lyssa Anne.

The winner of the pre-order of THE UNBECOMING OF MARA DYER by Michelle Hodkin is: Rachel C.

And the winner of the signed ARC of WITCH EYES by Scott Tracey is: Sera R.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and I had so much fun with these Olympics that I promise I'll do some more giveaways soon!

WILDEFIRE Olympics Roundup

My apologies that the final 2 days of the WILDEFIRE Olympics are so late--but I have a good excuse. I was in NYC for the weekend, without internet access, to give a reading and signing for WILDEFIRE at the fabulous Books of Wonder in Manhattan. Singlehandedly one of the coolest events of my life, and thank you to Peter for hosting!

So without further adieu, I give you the official Karsten Knight playlist for WILDEFIRE, along with the chapter when you should be listening to that song:

Chapter 1: Lightning Rod
Your Own Love by VersaEmerge

Chapter 2: Sleepwalker
Long Life (Where’d You Go) by Great Big Sea

Chapter 3: Blue Flame
I’m in Here by Sia

Chapter 4: The Beach Scrolls
Yesteryear by Rosi Golan

Chapter 5: Chain Gang
Above and Below (Moon Version) by the Bravery

Chapter 6: Burning Bed
Veni Veni Emmanuel as performed by Hayley Westenra

Chapter 7: Handprint
Angels ft. Norah Jones by Wax Poetic

Chapter 8: Match Point
Ignorance by Paramore

Chapter 9: Midnight Movie
Thrown Away by VAST

Chapter 10: Masquerade
Sunrise by Yellowbirddd

Chapter 11: Sibling Rivalry
Wait it Out by Imogen Heap

Chapter 12: Extinguished
Breathe Again by Sara Bareilles

Closing Credits
Soldier by Ingrid Michaelson

I'll be drawing the winner of the two 16x20 inch canvases of the WILDEFIRE cover (and the bonus prizes) on Thursday, so to recap, here are the chances you have for entries (one point for each task):

1) Like the WILDEFIRE fan page on facebook
2) Tweet or facebook a picture of you and WILDEFIRE
3) Do something nice for a (non-WILDEFIRE) book that you love
4) Tweet or facebook your favorite Karsten Knight video
5) Tweet or facebook your favorite line from WILDEFIRE
6) Tweet or facebook your favorite song

If you tweet, just use the #Wildefire hashtag or if you use facebook, tag the Wildefire fan page. Ta-da! Remember to comment below identifying all the ways you participated, along with your name and email. Spreading the word about this contest will win you my admiration and gratitude, which are more valuable than a beautiful canvas, right? Right??

In the mean time, here's a clip from Thursday's WILDEFIRE book launch and reading. Thanks Gail for taking the video!