Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The Awkward Things We Say in Gchat: Part Two

So for the last four weeks I've been working hard to a) finish revisions on Embers & Echoes (Wildefire #2), which were due to my lovely editor Courtney last week, and also revise a side project I've been working on. All this revision has broken my brains and encroached on my blogging time, so to make up for my absence on here, I present to you more out-of-context awkward conversations I've had over Gchat and text this past month.

On Dreams
Me: Last night I had a dream that involved a cat/gazelle hybrid
Me: Like it was the size and general shape of a cat, but it had stripes and horns and long legs
Me: Also, it was the beginning of the apocalypse
Jill: There were monkeys in mine last night
Jill: And i was shopping for Chanel nail polish

On Partying like an Adult
Jessica: We should have been in a circle
Jessica: and introduced ourselves
Me: with nap mats
Jessica: and Motts
Jessica: they could sponsor the event

On Beauty Sleep
Me: I took four naps today
Me: Three of them were unintentional

On Mixology
Me: Did you just compare my favorite cocktail to a celebrity sex tape?
Holley: Maybe.

On Unusual Curses
Me: I hope you choked on the bread
Me: and that your ginger ale was flat

On Intentional Accidents
Me: I think that's one of the emails I accidentally ignored
Scott: You're mixing up "accidentally" and "intentionally" again
Me: I never can keep them straight...

On Decorating Elephant Saddles
Me: Can we decorate our own elephant saddles
Me: with glitter lace and sequins
Me: and rhinestones
Jessica: sounds like a lot of work
Jessica: but yes
Jessica: I mean you trust me with a hot glue gun?

On Accidental Grand Theft Auto
Me: I panicked on my walk back to the car because I thought it got towed
Me: but I just parked farther away than I thought
Me: either that, or I drove the wrong car home last night
Me: which is very possible

On French Braids
Jennifer: they do that because it'll hold her hair back during combat, not because it's an acceptable prom style

On Britney Spears
Me: No judgment
Me: You're talking to the guy whose beer pong theme song is Break the Ice

On Working Out
Jessica: You pick things up and put them down
Me: I pick things up and drop them on myself
Jessica: Why would you do that
Me: New fitness craze
Jessica: Oh like Cross Fit

On Power Tools
Me: I don't want to be anywhere near you when you are wielding a jigsaw

On Responsible Drinking
Me: You can take a shot of milk.
Lydia: With a cookie as a chaser.

On Being a Supportive Friend
Me: You would suck at online dating
Jessica: How are you so sure?
Me: Because you suck at it in real life
Jessica: Valid point

On Being Tall
Me: Let’s go to a bar where I don’t feel like Gulliver’s Travels when I sit down


  1. You're effing hilarious, but it also appears that you might have been having some of these conversations by yourself. Which is awesome.

  2. Aw G-chat. What a riot! Seems like it inspires all sorts of creativity. I hope some of this insanity makes it into your writing :)

    Dying for E&E...D.Y.I.N.G.

  3. Hope you get all that revision and editing finished...that can be mentally exhausting. Looking forward to book 2.

  4. These are too funny. I'd look like a crazy person. No, truly. If I published some of mine.

  5. I just came across your blog and I will go off to work laughing... Thank you..

  6. Just finished reading Wildefire and it was the BEST book I've read in a while. I can't wait for E&E!! This may cause a lot of controversy, but I dare say(with truth) that Wildefire was better than Twilight in my opinion. Keep up the amazing work!!