So for the last four weeks I've been working hard to a) finish revisions on Embers & Echoes (Wildefire #2), which were due to my lovely editor Courtney last week, and also revise a side project I've been working on. All this revision has broken my brains and encroached on my blogging time, so to make up for my absence on here, I present to you more out-of-context awkward conversations I've had over Gchat and text this past month.
Me: Last night I had a dream that involved a cat/gazelle hybrid
Me: Like it was the size and general shape of a cat, but it had stripes and horns and long legs
Me: Also, it was the beginning of the apocalypse
Jill: There were monkeys in mine last night
Jill: And i was shopping for Chanel nail polish
On Partying like an Adult
Jessica: We should have been in a circle
Jessica: and introduced ourselves
Me: with nap mats
Jessica: and Motts
Jessica: they could sponsor the event
On Beauty Sleep
Me: I took four naps today
Me: Three of them were unintentional
Me: Did you just compare my favorite cocktail to a celebrity sex tape?
On Unusual Curses
Me: I hope you choked on the bread
Me: and that your ginger ale was flat
On Intentional Accidents
Me: I think that's one of the emails I accidentally ignored
Scott: You're mixing up "accidentally" and "intentionally" again
Me: I never can keep them straight...
On Decorating Elephant Saddles
Me: Can we decorate our own elephant saddles
Me: with glitter lace and sequins
Me: and rhinestones
Jessica: sounds like a lot of work
Jessica: but yes
Jessica: I mean you trust me with a hot glue gun?
On Accidental Grand Theft Auto
Me: I panicked on my walk back to the car because I thought it got towed
Me: but I just parked farther away than I thought
Me: either that, or I drove the wrong car home last night
Me: which is very possible
On French Braids
Jennifer: they do that because it'll hold her hair back during combat, not because it's an acceptable prom style
On Britney Spears
Me: No judgment
Me: You're talking to the guy whose beer pong theme song is Break the Ice
On Working Out
Jessica: You pick things up and put them down
Me: I pick things up and drop them on myself
Jessica: Why would you do that
Me: New fitness craze
Jessica: Oh like Cross Fit
On Power Tools
Me: I don't want to be anywhere near you when you are wielding a jigsaw
On Responsible Drinking
Me: You can take a shot of milk.
Lydia: With a cookie as a chaser.
On Being a Supportive Friend
Me: You would suck at online dating
Jessica: How are you so sure?
Me: Because you suck at it in real life
Jessica: Valid point
On Being Tall
Me: Let’s go to a bar where I don’t feel like Gulliver’s Travels when I sit down